Jess's Statement at the Sentencing Hearing of Chase Daniel Jones

 Honorable Judge, The actions of Chase Daniel Jones have greatly impacted mine and my family's life. Since he committed this crime, I feel like I lost not only Buster, but myself. I used to be a reliable, active participant who showed up with a willing heart and cheery disposition in my various communities that I was a part of, now what I have to offer feels like an empty shell of a person, who has no bandwidth to spare.  I have had trouble sleeping since the crash, often being woken up by the sound of racers in the valley, which brings immense feelings of anger and pain to the forefront and makes it hard to fall back asleep.  My view of the vulnerability of life and anxiety for my children’s welfare has gone up ten fold. When my teenagers say goodbye and drive away, I worry every time now that they might get hit like Buster, Eloise, Matilda, and Andrea did.  When they have been driving somewhere and call my phone, a part of me wonders if this is the moment where they tell me they have been in an accident.  I see Chase’s speeding Audi in my mind every time I turn left out of my neighborhood and imagine him running into me.  For a long time every time I heard sirens the horrific crash scene would pop up in my mind as if someone had turned on a projector in my head that has no off switch.  I imagine it will take a lot of therapy and the rest of my life to really work through some of these hard things.  

One of my daughters who used to happily babysit her younger sister, is now afraid to be left alone.  If I have to leave, even if only for a short time she cries and asks  “How do I know you will come back, Mom”?  I can’t honestly say to her the comforting words I so often used to rehearse to her sung by the cartoon character Daniel Tiger who sang ”grown ups come back”. That's certainly not something my dear friend Abe can say to his kids anymore, because their Mom didn’t come back. 

My son, Warner, who was there by my side to witness the unimaginably sad scene of the crash, hardly spoke for three days after finding out that his brother, his second Mom, and his two dear friends were killed and that his other two friends were in critical condition.  He just walked around our house, with a blanket wrapped around his head for those three days- wandering in a daze from room to room.  He slept on his older sister's floor for four months, because he couldn’t bear to go back to the room he shared with his little brother/best friend. 

I’ve watched my oldest daughter struggle with feelings of sorrow and isolation as she goes through her senior year. I have often heard her in her bedroom crying at night in the dark, when she should be sleeping.  Even my four year old, who was only three at the time, gets sad and will ask me from time to time questions like she asked last night when I was tucking her in “Mom, did God want Buster to die” that show me even though she is little, the impact on her is still profound. No four year old should have to ask such hard questions.  

The weeks and months that followed the crash I watched my once cheerful, adventurous, and fun-loving husband turn down opportunities to engage in the hobbies he used to love. He became more lethargic and down than I’ve ever seen him, and even got sick for about 6 weeks with pneumonia. He was sicker than I’ve ever seen him in his life, and I believe it was due to his stress and grief.   

Your honor, these descriptions are just a window into the impact on me and my family, but don’t even speak to the impact of a future without Buster. The future where he would be getting a license, going on a first date, serving a mission, getting married, and one day becoming a father which he was so excited to be one day.  Nor do they speak to the impact the crash has had on the Hudson and Wilcoxson families. 

Your honor, I don't envy your position and I don’t know what the right thing to do is, but knowing that prisons don’t have a great track record of changing people for the better, rather than advocate for an extended period of jail time, I would like to advocate for two things. First, that part of Chase’s sentence is watching the funeral videos of all four of the beautiful people his speeding killed that day, and second that his license be permanently revoked.  May the Grace of God be with you judge as you make this decision and with you Chase as you are held accountable for the consequences of this tragedy. Thank you.