ButterBoy

 This day marks 2 years since the passing of our Buster boy, and our dear friends Tilly, Eloise, and Andrea.  Andrea was on my mind especially this year. Rivka and I went down to visit her grave, and took flowers to her siblings and mom. Visiting with Robin was such a treat. We even got to meet Andrea's Grandma Backstein who she spoke so lovingly about.  I could feel in their joyful faces, Andreas sweet, and humorous soul.  It was so good to sit and drink that up, when I've been missing it so terribly. It was so good to be with Rivka too. We listened to beautiful music on the way home, talked about Andrea, talked about grief, hope, and all the things. I'm very blessed to have her in my corner.   The days leading up to March 19th proved to be very difficult, much more difficult in fact than the actual anniversary.  Starting the Friday before the crash, Jaron and I, along with the Wilcoxon's and Robinaughs went to the temple and did sealings.  This ...

 This Christmas was hard. Harder than last. Not sure why, but I just was down. It all started with the moment I got out the stockings to hang and saw Buster's. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to do any of it. Could we just skip it this year? How was I supposed to create holiday magic and cheer with our normal traditions, and presents, without any cheer in my heart. I really struggled, but I made it through, and in spite of the terrible feelings of loss and grief I was having leading up to Christmas, Christmas itself turned out to be surprisingly lovely. Still it felt like the grief of the holidays brought a wave the size of a tsunami that needed some clean up after the fact.  Going into January I was still feeling it. It ebbed and flowed, but then February came, and that's the month before the crash happened, and all these memories of the February of 2024 came flooding back into my mind. One particular day, Jaron and I had scheduled a ceiling date with the Wilco...